What about Passion?

I realized yesterday that my children know I love them and that raising them was hard work. I think they don’t understand that they were my passion! Passion is a strange and mysterious bed fellow.  Definitions give the word much depth of meaning. The word originates from the Latin word passio meaning suffering,  or being acted upon. One definition gives it this meaning: intense, driving, overmastering feeling or conviction. Intense love and hate are also descriptive of passion. Synonyms include affection, attachment, devotion, devotedness, fondness and love. The Passion of Christ refers to the suffering of Christ from the night of the Last Supper to his death.  Passion implies one is suffering willingly for the sake of the object of their devotion.

Most people are passionate to at least a small degree about something in life. Some people are passionate about many things. To live life without passion would seem quite dreary. What would there be to get out of bed for each morning? Without passion life would be mere drudgery, going through the motions day after day. I have been fortunate, some would say blessed, to have experienced much passion. 

In an impassioned state I find that life flows.  The choices confronting me require less deliberation. The activities of the day are empowering, bringing a river of energy to fulfill them.  Time passes quickly. Emotions are heightened. There is no question about purpose or meaning in life. Hinderances to the forward momentum, as experienced when the two year old suddenly has disappeared from sight and does not respond to mom’s calling, seem no more than speed bumps in the day. In fact it is in those moments, when things seem to not be going as planned, that color and texture are added to the passionate state deepening it. Those times of adventure with my children created some of my most precious memories of their childhood. 

Raising four children, three of which were born within a three and one half year period, provided me with enough passion to fill all the minutes of my days for many years. When they had all gone off to college and moved into their own passionate lives, I was deeply lost. What was my purpose in life? They still required my love and attention at times but certainly not on the level that gave my every waking moment the driving conviction of passion that had steered my life for nearly thirty years. I stumbled around for many years finding my way in life again.

I have since developed other passions that had been left untended in my earlier years for lack of time. New passions have also arisen in the form of grandchildren now. I feel  blessed to wake every morning with a passion for the dawning of a new day. Sharing in the lives of my husband, my adult children, my grandchildren  and friends feeds my new passions and gives me more balance and richness in all that I am.  I would not trade in the hard times of my life that I chose to walk through. They were a result of choices I made because of the passion that consumed me. I do believe that a life filled with passion keeps us from being mere observers in our lives and keeps us engaged. To my children, husband and friends I offer my gratitude and deep appreciation!